Learning Love
This dating thing is hard. Finding people with the same interests as you, people with the same moral values, career driven, same faith and beliefs.. How are you honestly expected to find "the one" in a matter of less than 30 years? There's 7 billion plus people on this darn planet, and you're supposed to click with one of them as your forever person? Wow, wow wow.
Early twenties, I've been in and out of the wrong relationships with the wrong guys. Those who don't know what they want, those who do and don't know how to say it, those whose moral values lack and are insanely different than yours. People who don't value you as what you're worth, and who don't treat how you know you deserve to be treated. It's hard, this dating thing.
I want to be an example to those who are single, or who are in the wrong relationship and my hope is that through this post you will hear back stories in my life, that have gotten me to where I am today.
Today I am sure, today I am knowledgable about what God has for me. A person who is growing right now, and someone who will be fully equipped to be with me for the rest of our lives. Someone who is patient, and kind and prays for me everyday, and someone who puts God first. Right now, I'm nowhere near being that person and that's how I know I'm not ready yet, and that's okay.
"They say good things take time, but great things happen in the blink of an eye" - Hannah Montana, One in a Million
As silly as it is to quote Hannah Montana, as we grow and become who God needs us to be for others; in and out of our lives, anything can happen in the blink of an eye and stay hopeful for the future and for the next moment ahead, because you don't know what it holds.
Being patient is hard, I remember in high school I couldn't wait to meet my "high school sweet heart", the one I would meet and fall in love with, someone who would be perfect in every single way and automatically be what I needed. Man, did I have another thing coming.
I've had a couple serious relationships, and each of them has taught me something different.
My first love was fun, new and exciting, it taught me I COULD be loved, and listened to, and my problems could be solved in different ways other than the ways I thought, it taught me to be adventurous, and patient.
My next relationship taught me the most, it taught me to give people time and space, taught me that not all things last, taught me that even when you love someone it doesn't mean you're meant to be, taught me that love can be hurtful, and impatient, and hard. Love can be hard. It taught me that being unequally yoked is a real thing, and that it is important to be in the same head space. It taught me that giving into the pressures of the world will change you forever, it make you better but hurts at the time. Don't get me wrong, it was a fun relationship, but it's more so when I look back on this one I see where I settled, and where I went wrong, where he went wrong, and it sucks, but we had an incredible high school thing, and that's just it- it was high school, not a life time.
The relationship that was next was a chaotic one, that was very up and down for a long time. But this person taught me what real love is, what unconditional support is, what it's like to be heard, and what it is to make mistakes but move on from them, he showed me I could be seen again by just being me. Unapologetically me, and that was so refreshing it tears me up just typing it out. This person brought hope back into love for me, and made me see my value and worth. But sometimes, it's just not meant to be.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
His word says it pretty loud and clear, and when love isn't that in your life- you have some things to work on, maybe it's not the right relationship for you. And if I've learned anything about being single, is that it's hard loving, and it's hard learning outside of love; but both are incredible and take insane patients. Just because you know what God wants for you, doesn't mean it isn't hard waiting for it, and it sure is hard learning from that fact as you grow. He/ she will be 1 in 7 billion, and believe it or not, they're out there, and their heart is being prepared for yours.
As I go through this season of being single, I need to remember I am spoken for already. I have a God who has fought for me, a God who cherishes me, and sees me, and loves me. and THAT is something many of us pass over in our thoughts, and don't give more of a second of our time to. He is your eternal bridegroom and your love story is being written already, but that's for another post.